By

Satire from James Cole

Satire…

As we travel this country we see some beautiful and interesting places.  Not to mention the little cafes that somehow just pops up around lunchtime.  Mentioning lunch reminds me of a little Mexican fruit stand that stopped at just yesterday.  They had all the Mexican fixing that you would want at this type of venue.  We all belled up to the window, placed our order to the pretty little seniority and sat down on the down on the patio benches and wait for our order. 

My ole buddy Mike Langford is fond of Mexican food and his fare was burritos, tomalleys, recooked beans, yuk-o-moly, chinki-chinki on the side and of course tacos and a big orange drink.  After lunch we hit the trail.  I’m thinking, that sure was a lot of food for the money.  Mike is always looking for good deals.  He sure got one today. 

But by evening my ole buddy Mike didn’t look so swift.  I ask him could I do anything for him, as he was looking sorta peeked.  Im thinking maybe Ill get him some of that Pepto stuff, the pink kind.  That is supposed to check you up pretty good.

Next morning we hit the trail bright and early and maybe ole Mike is feeling better today. 

As we go barreling across hill and dale,  I need to find find out how my ole buddy Mike is doing.  So Ill just ring him up.  We are talking on these telephones that has no wires hooked them and when you talk your talk goes everywhere.  Like when you say something you cant take it back.  It’s gone. 

So I’m giving ole Mike a call to see how he’s doing.

KDB 1040-Miko Taco Kid………You got your ears clean…open…..on…whatever…come back.

Yeah James I hear you…….What you need?

Well I was just wondering how you was feeling and all……..      to see if that pink stuff worked or not…..over

If you don’t mind, I don’t feel like discussing how I feel right now………….

Rodger Dodger that Mike Taco Kid………….I was just concerned that you might be in some serious concern before the day is over………over

Ill be fine if you don’t keep bugging me about  it.  It’s all I can do to keep this bike up so lets just nip it OK……………

I copy that Taco Kid…………..but you’ve got to get it off your mind……….think of something else….look at the scenery or something………hey Mike there’s a river coming up…is that the Snake river and look at those rapids….over

Don’t mention water to me.  Besides my butt is gone, my arms are sore and my kidneys are working just fine……I don’t want to hear about water no more.

I heard that Taco Kid but look over in yon pasture grazing…..a cow….over

I don’t want to hear about no river…..no rapids…..and I certainly don’t to talk about no %@*& cow……What I need is a bath room.

Well Taco Kid you know those exits are far and few between out here……but look….here here comes a sign…..next exit 10 miles……Hey Mike Taco did you see the…………

I saw I saw………….

Mike begins to speed up I try to keep up. When I get to the exit Mike is already there.  I begin to pick belongings dropped along the parking lot.  In side the building I follow the trail to the bathroom at the far end of the building.  Mike Taco is beelining it to that door………and then……….. and then an abrupt stop.  I catch up.  My ole buddy Taco Kid standing there…..his eyes fixed.  I saw his face, sweat pouring from his brow, his jaw dropped like an anvil….His eyes …fixed on a closed door.  I followed his gaze to the sign on the door………OUT OF ORDER       

                                                                                             Over and Out

21 Responses to Satire from James Cole

  1. Bailey Alexander says:

    Hi Daddy!
    One more Day! I will see you tomorow! I love you!
    Bailey 🙂

  2. Carol Eberhardt says:

    I agree with all the others – this has been the best entertainment I’ve had in ages. I can hardly wait to read your blogs and see the pictures each day. Mark, if you think I asked a lot of questions before you left – just wait! 🙂 Thanks for taking us along on your ride, guys! I’m so proud of all of you!

  3. Sherry & Wayne Hubbard says:

    hey guys…please make sure you all get a picture w/bob&sherri- and post it …that way i can steal and put on my fb page! HA!!!!

    Wow…. does anyone have an antidote or a recommendation on how to overcome this addiction??? Next week were all going to need some help- It’s been great looking forward to the daily stories from every one of you!

    Thank you Scott and the Miracle Riders for sharing your life with us the last 21 days!

  4. Ray Underwood says:

    Funny James. Sounds like you guys are having fun. I wish I was there and riding with yall. Take care and have a safe trip.

  5. Pat Carpenter says:

    I know exactly what your GPS is doing. So much so that everyone got to where they would call mine a GLO (get lost often).
    There are a few things that a man accomplishes during his life that he can be proud of and guys this will be one of those things. Be safe and we will see you all tomorrow.

    Ride Safe,
    Pat

  6. Kelley says:

    Is there any way the miracle riders could schedule a once-a-month excursion and continue letting us have story time once a month please? Ya’ll are great writers! We can’t wait to see you Friday night!

  7. taylor0405 says:

    I have never laughed so much & so hard over a blog…

    “Satire from James Cole” should be on Oprah’s MUST READ list….it will be sorely missed!

    James…PLEASE write about the whole trip…let us live vicariously through your musings on the events & adventures of each day.

    I’m totally hooked and will go through withdrawals when the trip concludes on Friday…what will I do to brighten the days???? LOL

  8. Darrel Hamilton says:

    Gents, what route are ya’ll traveling today. May like to catch up & ride with you some.

    Be safe,
    Darrel & Donna Hamilton

  9. Bailey Alexander says:

    Hey daddy!! I miss you!! I am so glad i will be seeing you on Friday! By the way, I was watching one of your videos and I saw that my iPod was missing from the holder thing. Where did you put it???? Did you run over it?! Got to go! I love you! See you on Friday!

    -Bailey
    your favorite child

    • Mark Alexander says:

      It fell off the Bike in Utah during the 60 MPH winds. I think Mike Hamby ran over it. He will replace it for you. I wasn’t going to say anything about it until Friday.
      Sorry.
      I love you,
      Daddy

    • JONI RESSMEYER says:

      BAILEY….I THINK YOU SHOULD MAKE A DATE WITH YOUR
      DADDY ON THIS SATURDAY MORNING…TO LOOK AT A
      NEW IPOD…..HE SHOULD BE READY TO GO OUT SHOPPING
      ABOUT 8 AM….BE SURE THAT YOU GET THE NEWEST ONE
      OUT AND HAVE HIM GET ALL THE MUSIC BACK ON IT…I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HIS FAVORITE LITTLE GIRL…. JONI

  10. Sandra Langford says:

    Great job James-you have been hiding your talent on the tv typewriter. Now you’ve let the cat out of the bag.
    If I didn’t know I was missed, I do now. And there is probably one of those “isms” in what I am going to say.
    Today I received a box from Mike-some of his and Ralph’s dirty clothes! Do you have any idea how they smelled????But there was a sharp new shirt for me in the box-so there has to be a silver lining or something to this.
    Be safe guys-hope all of you wound up at the hotel tonight-heard James led the group that got lost.

  11. Sandra (Cole) Haymaker says:

    James R,
    WOW- – – It was great meeting the Miracle Riders today. and seeing you. What a handsome and Special group of guys! So glad you all were able to visit Winchester, VA and have lunch with us and thanks for letting Fred tag along through West Virginia.

    Needless to say, I have thoroughly enjoyed watching your progress as you all have ridden across country these past weeks, also the very interesting blogs!!! I hope and pray you all will reach your goal of $75,000 for The Children’s Miracle Network at The Medical Center to help with those children’s needs.

    Proud of you all – ride safe – I know Columbus will be anxious to see you all back home Friday night! Your wives played a big part in this too… for letting you take on this wonderful cause.

    Keep the shinny side up! Ya’ll come back.

    James’ sister Sandra

    Winchester, VA

  12. JONI RESSMEYER says:

    JAMES…EVERYBODY IS RIGHT…YOUR STORY TELLING OF
    THE GRIMLINS WAS FUNNY….BUT I LOVE THE STORY OF THE
    TACO AND MEXICAN FOOD WITH MIKE WAS EVEN BETTER..
    WHAT OTHER STORIES CAN ADD TO THOSE TWO….WE’RE
    ALL WAITING….THANKS FOR THE GOOD LAUGHES…CAN’T
    WAIT TO HEAR OR READ MORE ON THE TYPEWRITER TV…
    JUST LOVE IT, JAMES….A SPECIAL TO ALL RIDE SAFE….JONI

  13. Jennifer Joyner says:

    James, you have been holding out on us! You needed to send in blogs EVERY day! I have laughed and laughed!

    Also, Mark I love how you close the Videos from the Road with you! : )

    Can’t wait to see all of you back on Friday. Drive safe and enjoy Levine’s Children’s Hospital tomorrow!

    JJ : )

  14. kelseyamon says:

    Dear Scott
    I hope you don’t get stuck.
    I miss you.
    I loveyou.
    I will see you in less then 3 day’s.

  15. Evan Amon says:

    Dear gang
    Looks like your about back.We had lunch at Country’s if that makes you happy. I’m so excited!
    see you Friday,
    Evan amon

    p.s countrys was gooooooood!!!!!!!

  16. Ronald Foxworth says:

    to funney BEEN THERE DONE THAT, thats why i can understand.

  17. Marnie says:

    You’re right Roxann. Polite Canadians wouldn’t laugh at that either, but…I just couldn’t help it!
    Sorry Mike! ( and it is a Canadian trait to always apologize for things, even if we had nothing to do with it! But I did laugh hard)
    Meeting everyone in Buffalo was a treat. They look a lot different from their pictures now though. Wild hair, wind burned and sun drenched faces, and they all forgot their razors.

  18. Roxann Suits says:

    Hate to laugh at someone else’s misery, but……..Bwahahaha! Great post, James.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *